Those who wish to dabble in the rewarding science of elemental channeling would do well to remember that, even divorced from the arcane energies responsible for their summoning and animation of their form, the elements present a formidable danger in and of themselves.
I reiterate this caution as we turn our attention to the subject of this tome, the channeling of the mysterious and ephemeral substance I have dubbed "Electra-atrocity."
This curious, odorless material is generated within the swirling currents of air elementals, presumably to perform the function that blood or mucous serves among more flesh-bound analogues. Lightning clouds are known to discharge this substance, in much the same way you or I may discharge excess fluids.
You may think that Electra-atrocity, presumably a waste product, is of no use to us. My experiments would prove otherwise! The very first time I touched my tongue to the terminal of a loaded condenser jar I was knocked to the ground by what I can only describe as a kiss from the Gods.
Once preserved in a suitable container, Electra-atrocity seethes with enormous constructive potential. My experiments have shown it can be devastating to small kittens or baby bunnies.
An array of condenser jars can also be used to maintain a portal to the elemental plane, freeing summoners to go about their business elsewhere. I have recently installed such a device atop Mount Hyjal to facilitate the movement of large quantities of men and materiel through the Firelands.
Electra-atrocity behaves like an angry juice, always attempting to return to the ground via the shortest, wettest, most metal route.
DO NOT ATTEMPT TO DRINK THE JUICE.
It tastes like burnt flesh and facilitates the dispersal of your bowels. Always protect yourself by wearing thick layers of soft leather and by handling Electra-atrocital equipment via gullible initiates, taller and stupider than yourself.
Mastery of Electra-atrocity will bring us one step closer to a total grasp of the elements and the summoning of our Lords and Masters to the mortal plane, where they can pelt our beaming faces with the knowledge of the infinite.
Let there be light! And with it, pain, searing, and eventual numbness - reminding us of the glories to come when the world is remade and the believers become one with the crackling blue juices of domination!
Patches and hotfixesEdit
- Patch 4.0.3 (15-Nov-2010): Added.