Some have accused mages of being an insular, self-centered group. We would like you to know that this could not be further from the truth. Mages are caring individuals whose relentless pursuit of knowledge and power is centered on your well-being! How do mages serve you? I'm glad you asked!
Nervous at a public speaking engagement? Imagining your audience in their underwear not helping? What if you imagine them as sheep? Still nothing? We will turn your audience into sheep.
Ask your mage friend to cast a slowing charm on you and take the time to stop and smell the roses. Also fun at races!
Think a frosted mug is the best way to keep your ale cool? You should see a frostbolted mug.
Studies show that most master works of literature have been written while the author was under the influence of arcane intellect.
And always remember: If anything should go astray, a mage is just a blink away.
This pamphlet was printed on summoned paper.